Dying/broken/forgiven.... now I begin

Born: 17-06-56....gemini.... monkey
re-born: 3-09-80
born again\found: 14-04-08
other notable dates: 10-03-68; 03-09-87; 23-03-96;
1-05-98; 31-01-02; 5-04-04

Interests: movement, stressed/transgressive embodiment, lived experience (body\space\time\relation)
expression ( word, dance, text, image, story, music, poetics)
learning, yielding......

Hopes for the blog:
offer up the wild intersectedness of lived experience and engage others in creative, expressive, perhaps irreverant, hopefully playful, and respectful encounters....
enact kindness
create moments of pause for disclosure, discovery, stillness

Monday, January 4, 2010

Meditation or motto.....

"Delayed gratification is the hallmark of emotional maturity."
my therapist

first day back at work after a six month leave, seething and screeching with rage, harboring vindictive fantasies, keeping profanity in check (barely) wondering if it is possible to implode and remain invisible, the best place to do damage

therapist tells me over and over that the fuel goes in the tank, not in the fire, and every violence foregone makes me fitter for the larger fight
that I only have to do the next right thing.... whatever that is....

and some days, my mind is not my best friend.


  1. You never fail to bring a smile to my face hen.

  2. Don't delay the gratification too long...they call those Volcano eruptions. Not pretty.

  3. I am thinking this and knowing my mind is NEVER my best friend! Ha! There is a saying 'what doesn't break us, makes us stronger'

  4. This is spooky, for you have just laid bare the inside of my soul.

    There are days when I feel like the buzzard who turned to its friend and said, "Patience, hell! I'm going to go kill something!"

    Thank you for this post. It will help me get thrugh the week until I go see my therapist next week. Boy, do I have a lot of stuff to tell her!


  5. Jimmy-- I'm glad to hear it; thanks! Happy new year
    WM-- I do other things before the volcano erupts... and you are soooo right: not pretty.
    SarahA.. glad you can relate. Nice to see you again.
    Crow--- isn't that funny when one sees one's experience somewhere else..... funny peculiar and funny ha ha; cheers !

  6. I can relate to what you are feeling here. you describe it wonderfully. some days, our minds are not our best friends, but we keep at them, and hope that those kinds of days become fewer and farther between.

  7. seventyniner-- thanks for the visit.. and thanks for the comment.... drop by anytime :)