black and white and read all over....
a nun tumbling down the stairs,
a chessboard wrapped around a body,
a fool most of all.....
a perpetual beginner
amazed and puzzled
curious and captured
tormented and calm
trusting carnal knowledge
hopeful about craft
learning to yield
Hopes for the blog: offer up the wild intersectedness of lived experience and engage others in creative, expressive, perhaps irreverant, hopefully playful, and respectful encounters.... enact kindness create moments of pause for disclosure, discovery, stillness
It had to be the April of the year I turned eight. I returned to school with a different body after six months off recovering from injuries sustained in a car accident.
It's a Catholic school of the early 1960's. Prayer, music, choir, diction, posture and Latin in addition to the school subjects regular humans learn. The desk is rough under my legs and textured with scratches, grooves, ridges, ink, wood polish... the very odour of comportment.
Sustained silent reading is one of our privileges for 30 minutes every afternoon. I don't remember the book; I don't remember the time; I don't remember the day. I remember the uncurtained windows, the streaming sun, the shuffle sounds of 30 girls in serge uniforms... and I remember the word: exsanguinate.
The sentence stopped there and went no further; a road falling into a ditch; a rock falling into a well. I am undaunted and I feel that feeling without knowing what it is I am feeling. I am sweating... just a little... and then there is my pounding heart, and a breathlessness I have come to know as the overture to deep engagement--crossing over. I see the pieces moving in slow motion, a rearranging, nuanced and subtle... I feel the click of comprehension... ex: out of; sanguine: blood... of course!! Exsanguinate means: bleed to death ! I catch myself grasping not only meaning, but also how I got there. There is nothing beyond me now... I can move inside a word.
A ninety-year-old man went to his physician and said, " My eighteen-year-old wife is expecting a baby." The physician said, " Let me tell you a story. A man went hunting, but instead of a gun, he picked up an umbrella by mistake. When a bear suddenly charged at the man, he picked up the umbrella, shot the bear, and killed it." The 90-year-old guy said, " Impossible. Somebody else must have shot the bear." The physician said, " My point exactly!"
..... this little gem is from a wonderful book: Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar... understandingphilosophy through jokes, by Thomas Cathcart and Daniel Klein. ( Penguin; 2007)
with a felt sense of waxing and waning, I am given to reflect again and anew on the premises I choose to guide my actions.....
Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt. Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench. Care about people's approval and you will be their prisoner.
Do your work, then step back. The only path to serenity.