Early on I remember talking to her
about hate
oblivious to her admonitions
that it was a bottomless pit
of wasted energy
I argued for its benefits and applications
insisting that it took
no effort
at all
an easy agenda item--
efficient
as hell....
coldness became my camouflage
helpful, enduring
more neutral than it seems
on its face
a logical consequence
Later on I remembered the first time I loved
joyfully
not realizing how rare that would be
the gifts it would bring
the toll it would take
the memories it would leave
how much they would matter
A lifetime later I'm yielding
to what it means to love without holding back
having felt it once before
I knew its sweetness
when it awakened
unpredictable overpowering tenderness
tougher than anger, sadness or hell
helpless as water
older than time
always more than words
always seeking words
Great text, really free i like it, a kind of experiment.
ReplyDeleteNow some comments, you always end up learning that hate just
leads to pain.
Of course you wanna feel nothing or at least pretend you are beyond the hurt.
I only loved once for real and it was incredible, it is an
undescritible thing. I guess that makes me bear the pain.
Smile once and again
take care H
I knew its sweetness
ReplyDeleteOnce a thing is known it is known forever
"coldness became my camouflage" Yummy!
ReplyDeleteMariana-- thanks for the empathetic awareness.... appreciated :)
ReplyDeleteWM-- it sure is the case--for me,too-- that something that touches deeply stays in the bones
Gerry--thanks--- I like that line, too... and it has been remarkably helpful as a lived life strategy
Harlequin,
ReplyDelete"Even the strongest, eventually must fall/ Look at us now... love makes a fool of us all."
Andy--- I'm thinking that this is the kind of foolishness that has the potential to teach me the most.Thanks for stopping by :)
ReplyDelete