Dying/broken/forgiven.... now I begin

Born: 17-06-56....gemini.... monkey
re-born: 3-09-80
born again\found: 14-04-08
other notable dates: 10-03-68; 03-09-87; 23-03-96;
1-05-98; 31-01-02; 5-04-04

Interests: movement, stressed/transgressive embodiment, lived experience (body\space\time\relation)
expression ( word, dance, text, image, story, music, poetics)
learning, yielding......

Hopes for the blog:
offer up the wild intersectedness of lived experience and engage others in creative, expressive, perhaps irreverant, hopefully playful, and respectful encounters....
enact kindness
create moments of pause for disclosure, discovery, stillness

Saturday, February 13, 2010


To: Mr. Rufus Saunders
Elizabeth Avenue Liquors
Churchill Square
St. John's, Newfoundland
Dear Mr. Saunders,
You will find enclosed in this letter a cheque for $820.00. I need to explain why I'm sending this to you. It wasn't always like this for me, being able to send a big cheque in the mail. The last time you saw me I would have been 18 years old, mousy and unremarkable, probably wearing jeans and a gray or brown jacket, something unmemorable, and carrying a purse the size of a gym bag. I probably had half a dozen men's socks in there..... big socks.
That evening, I purchased a bottle of Moody Blue wine. I liked that wine; it was sweet and easy to drink. I saw your name tag and remembered it because it reminded me of Rufus Guinchard, a fiddler I listened to a lot back then. Long dead, Rufus. But you're not. I checked. I tracked you down a few weeks ago because I knew I had to make it right with you, finally.
I shoplifted half a dozen extra bottles that night. Slid them into the big socks so they wouldn't clink off each other in my purse. 2 scotch, 2 rye, a London Dock and a Southern Comfort. I'm paying you back the street value now, plus interest. The first Monday of this month was my 20 years sober dry date, and you are one of my last remaining amends. I was cold as ice that night as I laid down the eight bucks for that Moody Blue. You were rushed and nervous, probably new on the job, probably not much older than I was. I screwed you over like I did with lots of people back then.
I don't need you to thank me and I don't need you to forgive me. I just have to say I'm sorry and mean it. Being a decent person means more to me now than it did then... almost more than anything. So, I'm sorry. And I mean it.
Please accept my kind regards,
Emm Cee.


  1. This piece was something I worked on for a writers' collective I attend the first Thursday of the month; the prompt for this was mine: you have a half hour delay in an airport/train station/bus station and you of a sudden remember someone you have to send a letter to.... write the letter and send it before you have a chance to change your mind.This was my letter.

  2. Unique, eloquent, and very satisfying.

  3. Well placed are the words on the page H.

  4. great story well told - a true story I hope :D

  5. Linda-- glad you enjoyed; thanks for the kind words
    Jimmy--thanks for those words--it was a letter I also was satisfied with
    WM--thanks so much; there is something to be said for sequencing
    Pisces-- there is no Rufus Saunders, but I did indeed make this amend, because it was one that needed to be made. I like the letter format for storying, as well. thanks!