Dying/broken/forgiven.... now I begin

Born: 17-06-56....gemini.... monkey
re-born: 3-09-80
born again\found: 14-04-08
other notable dates: 10-03-68; 03-09-87; 23-03-96;
1-05-98; 31-01-02; 5-04-04

Interests: movement, stressed/transgressive embodiment, lived experience (body\space\time\relation)
expression ( word, dance, text, image, story, music, poetics)
learning, yielding......

Hopes for the blog:
offer up the wild intersectedness of lived experience and engage others in creative, expressive, perhaps irreverant, hopefully playful, and respectful encounters....
enact kindness
create moments of pause for disclosure, discovery, stillness

Monday, July 13, 2009


Imagine a huge conglomerate educational corporation whose purpose seems to be processing knowledge containers as if they were meat patties. Let's call it a university. Imagine all the people that might inhabit such a place. Let's call them professors, staff, students and senior administrators. Imagine several fiefdoms organized under a feudal system with hegemonic overlords wielding centralized and de-centralized power. Let's call them Faculties and Deans. Imagine that all these people --deans, senior administrators, staff, professors, students--lead busy, complex, textured, contingency driven lives. Let's call that being human. Imagine some of these humans as trauma survivors who manage post traumatic stress disorder on a day to day basis; imagine that these survivors know that triggers are inevitable in a place like this. Let's call that proactively forming a support network. That's the set up. Now... imagine this...

Melody arives at Milly's door. Milly's got two students but Melody has that wild look so Milly knows she has to take a walk. Hang in there, I'll be back in a few minutes she says to the two gals who exchange puzzled glances but seem willing to tolerate the oddness. Some days Milly seems like just another regular person and then right out of the blue these totally whacked things happen and students and colleagues alike begin to think that maybe there's a dark well there somewhere.... but it never lasts long. Milly's efficient as hell and Melody knows it... that's why she's here...
they talk and walk; it's a long corridor and it leads to doors that go outside and it's a nice day out there... Melody says she was ok until that asshole put the jarofbullsemen on her desk and asked her to pack it up for shipping...just like that... this is not supposed to happen in a department like this Melody sobs... geez, it's not biology ... if I go back and it's still there do you think it's ok for me to, like, leave ... ? like , just go...
why not says Milly you can't be packing up stuff like that Melody wimpers I know... if it breaks I'm going to have to scald myself to get it off me...Milly holds up the halt hand -- Just leave; that's the best option.
they walk until their breathing is regular. I'm Ok now Melody says, if that jerk hasn't packed it up himself I 'm leaving . Milly nods slowly. That's a plan. They look each other in the eye. Melody smiles... got a story? she asks... Milly does not have to dig too deeply for this one. Did I ever tell you about finding that boxofrectalthermometers in Marylou's office....


  1. thanks to Jon for his imaginative,bold and fun experiment at beckettadaptation.blogspot.com--this is where I began experimenting with " patter" with a character named Jane and all her accompanying characters whose names begin with J; so here we have Milly in a hypothetical job with a host of M characters and a forum for me to do some description of/play with the absurdities in "higher" education...

  2. So from the tale I take it this was not an institution of higher learning dealing with agriculture? Well told story though; one told with understanding of the human condition.

  3. WM-- thanks; no, not agriculture... and even the biologists have no reasons to be brandishing jars as described... strange and stranger sites of power, indeed...

  4. What a story. Had me jacked up and anxious until Milly walked and talked Melody back down to calm. Jeeze, you are good!


  5. I like this text a lot, I like how it shows violence and meanness without any special
    reason at all.
    So you are saying we go trough educations, so they can make us all lthink and look the same.
    Then some people with pstd appear.
    Milly has pstd and people can be mean sometimes to her, they can trigger her attacks by
    making her small, very small harms. In that case their first impulse is escape.
    But eventually revenge takes place.

  6. Crow-- thanks for the comments... I thrive on praise!! don't we all...
    I have come through a bit or dark night lately... but now am back with a vengeance

    Mariana-- Milly does indeed manage ptsd, as does poor Melody... good thing that education... and support and humour... in a nutshell, living well is the best revenge!
    thanks for your insights...

  7. Thanks for your kind and clarifying response harlequin.
    I always think a lot about that phrase you told, "living well ..." , There is a song from rem that is called like that.
    take care friend

  8. Hey lady

    Love your writing....Thanks for your
    comment and just for stopping by