The old skipper.... ( almost a year ago...)

I remember when my dad got old enough and nefarious enough to be called "skipper" ... a Newfoundland honorific reserved for the select few heartless, vicious old bastards who outlasted the others... if ever a hard-ass deserved that title, it was my father.. all these shady old characters running into him out and around, saying " how's she goin', skipper", giving him his due, a rank earned of hard knocks, as bad as the worst of them. We've had our battles, the old skipper and me, and we're calmer now...
These 20 years I've been shipwrecked here on the mainland, and my Sunday night telephone calls thankfully anchor me to the Rock; they are my touchstones, my return to my ground. My phone calls... when I hear the old skipper's gruff voice, that same voice that's told a thousand arseholes to go to hell, his gravel voice and harder hands, never needing to be that way at home because we knew what he was capable of on the street, the old skipper.
And we're calmer now...
years later, we all can talk and laugh and when I call my family every Sunday, 8:00 pm Canada time, 9:30 in Newfoundland, we can say we love each other and know what that means...
So, that was some phone call the Sunday after you found me after all these years. My sister and I have been talking on the phone on a few Mondays and Tuesdays since...
She tells me " Mom and Dad are acting...different"
"what are they up to?" I ask
"they've been hugging each other and smiling and talking about you more than usual" she says
I don't know what to say to that. I've been smiling a lot, too. She says " they're celebrating..."
That's OK with me; I'm fine with celebrating this gift...given

So, this past Sunday I was talking to my dad and he says to me," you know, I never stopped prayin' for that little fella "
"I know, Dad," I said " I never stopped, either"
... and it all came washing over me, all the tears we never cried for you, all the words we never spoke about you, all there, terrible and beautiful, and then, my father's voice...
and I knew that in spite of it all, in spite of all the shite we put each other through, all he ever wanted was for me to be happy, and here we are, the old skipper and me, battles over, and still, that's all he wants for me now.
And that's all I want for you.