Dying/broken/forgiven.... now I begin

Born: 17-06-56....gemini.... monkey
re-born: 3-09-80
born again\found: 14-04-08
other notable dates: 10-03-68; 03-09-87; 23-03-96;
1-05-98; 31-01-02; 5-04-04

Interests: movement, stressed/transgressive embodiment, lived experience (body\space\time\relation)
expression ( word, dance, text, image, story, music, poetics)
learning, yielding......

Hopes for the blog:
offer up the wild intersectedness of lived experience and engage others in creative, expressive, perhaps irreverant, hopefully playful, and respectful encounters....
enact kindness
create moments of pause for disclosure, discovery, stillness

Friday, February 1, 2013

Dry Date, 2013

This date is designated my " Dry Date". It is the day that commemorates my decision to live as a sober person. 23 years later,  I am a proud member of Alcoholics Anonymous, and am grateful for every sober day. I do not take it for granted and I am vigilant about the state of my spiritual condition as well as my overall well being. This is more difficult than I thought.... it is easy to get caught in old habits and, as my dad (also an AA member; died a winner almost two years ago) used to say, sometimes your mind is not your best friend.
I could not imagine persevering  with my present cancer situation with the attitude I have if I were not sober. Being present with my life and not being afraid to be alone with my own thoughts are gifts.
I do not do this alone. I have a wonderful sponsor and a group that accepts me and a family who respects the choices I make and who care enough to be honest with me about the things that count.
Today, I am reasonably  content. I have a measure of serenity that sustains me, one day at a time.


  1. All you get H-oney is one heartbeat at a time. I don't remember exactly what day i stopped drinking a fifth of bourbon a day but it's been awhile.

    I don't know what they say in AA but all I can say is when you look back 24 years and compare them to today are you better off spiritually? I'd say that if what you write is a true reflection of you and having walked the alcohol road for a large number of heartbeats myself, that you are unafraid because of you. The support system is necessary for everyone either big or small but it is you who decides every moment who you are and I for one am glad to be able to read your words as you have become, and understand the strength within you. That is the example you give them whom you touch.

  2. WM-thanks for this kind and sweet message. I am quite touched. I am better off today, and I also appreciate your suggestion that I give myself some credit for that, too. Glad you are reading my stuff. I sure enjoy reading yours. :)

  3. I raise my glass... erm, I mean... I raise my hat to your 23rd anniversary :)

  4. Garth-- I gratefully accept the gesture of your raised glass...if I could have one, and only one.... I would!!
    deft touch with the hat, as well. nicely done.

  5. Thankfully I'm not an addictive type. I'm just nuts naturally.

  6. Greetings. I am sorry, incredibly sorry to hear of 'cancer situations', which I know well from family experiences and am cautious of saying anything at all about, really, in fear of putting my foot in my mouth. It's a horrible, horrible, f&%#ing thing. This I know.

    My sister is approaching one year of sobriety, in a good place, with a good program and good sponsors behind her in Ontario and I know how invaluable that resource has been to her, how much it has helped her make her way back. thank you for that/for this. it's inspiring. I don't know much about AA, though I have been to some meetings, but I do know something about recovery. 23 years is something to be proud of.

    Lastly, (?) I've returned, or at least am in the process of returning. Thank you so much for your kind words on my writing over the years. I send nothing but the best thoughts. Beat that s#$t. That is all.


  7. Cancer, huh? Sad. I was reading back through my blog, getting housekeeping done and noticed I hadn't heard from you a while...

    Hope all is well as it can be. Congrats on your milestone. I know what that means, Sweetie.

  8. Mr.C. --better late than never in responding. Thanks for the visit and the resonances.
    79er... so great to hear from you. totally appreciate the comments and the sentiments within. Glad you are dwelling in return. I love your writing.
    Christopher-- I know that you know! thanks for the visit and the support.