Dying/broken/forgiven.... now I begin

Born: 17-06-56....gemini.... monkey
re-born: 3-09-80
born again\found: 14-04-08
other notable dates: 10-03-68; 03-09-87; 23-03-96;
1-05-98; 31-01-02; 5-04-04

Interests: movement, stressed/transgressive embodiment, lived experience (body\space\time\relation)
expression ( word, dance, text, image, story, music, poetics)
learning, yielding......

Hopes for the blog:
offer up the wild intersectedness of lived experience and engage others in creative, expressive, perhaps irreverant, hopefully playful, and respectful encounters....
enact kindness
create moments of pause for disclosure, discovery, stillness

Friday, January 23, 2009

things you've said to me before.....

not sure why I'm writing this now....
sometimes things you've said to me before just strike me
I think I have a better idea, now, of what you meant by early entreaties
on the certainty of future disappointment
why it was so important to have it said....
Is it because you know yourself so well?
Is it because you have become familiar with habitual responses
regarding behaviour that you could but do not seek
or resist....
it is your nature, in some respects
your enigma
in others
it is your revolutionary text...constantly writing and re-writing itself
your subject
on trial
in process
the poem you inhabit
inhabits you
the tangles and barbs that call you
the twilight that calls you back
the groves that sustain you
the seduction of word beneath
and beyond it all
this is not a storm or a conflict
the moon is in your blood
is your ongoing reflection on deceit a part of this?
knowing you will wane
perhaps when people you love want your face...and hands ... and words
perhaps when, knowing this, you wane all the same
helpless as water to the pull of the moon
wave-tossed and floating
tormented and wondering
meta-knowledge no help at all
doyouthinkthismakesyoufalse.... to hold out hope
knowing that it will hover, shiver, whisper, suffer
this fragile thing
always
this dragonfly
this dandelion
this blade of grass
this is no indulgent te(s)(x)t
of faith or fortitude
in self or others friends
or lovers families mothers
gardens
virtual or otherwise
disappointment is beige
trust me on this
I know
dandelions are optimists
dragonflies don't sting
love is most of all patient
the thing that endures and sustains
yielding is
the hardest work of hope and craft
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2 comments:

  1. AnonymousJanuary 23, 2009 at 3:14 PM

    You cannot escape your nature. I would done it by now if I could. Disappointment is beige...I like that one, relatable.

    Mimi

    ReplyDelete
  2. HarlequinFebruary 13, 2009 at 5:10 PM

    Mimi-- anyone who can relate to disappointment being beige has to have experienced her share of it... and much more....
    no regrets.... no shame...only forgiveness
    Harlequin

    ReplyDelete

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