the Big C/Sea/See

the Big C
an uninvited guest who insinuated itself into a nice hiding
place
and
hung around until its bread crumbs got noticed
well after it had eaten way too much
bread

the Big Sea
cradles my home and soothes me
its crash and dash and silence
calls on the deep
tethered to the moon
teaching me to yield

the Big See
opens up that crack
follows the zig zag beacon
into the space/place/time
when stillness is a sound
a touch
a moment well lived
thoughtfully given
the only thing that matters

Living life deeply

A visit to the Rock [that would be Newfoundland, for all the CFA's and wannabe's] reminds me that family is precious, that time spent is precious, that loved ones are precious, that tenderness has many forms and that love is lived in moments both profound and mundane.

Serious medical stuff, my own and my mother's, has kept me occupied with living life deeply.  Methinks it will assist in some thoughtful writing and some much needed reading of others'  expressive work once there is more time to devote to it.
 Soon, I hope.....

Hate is getting easier

Hate is getting easier

regrets are feeling breezier

and slime-balls seem less sleezier

these seeds are scattered wide

Hate is now acceptable

its strategies adaptable

to contexts deemed amenable

with bosses choosing sides

Hate sits in a La-Z-Boy

directing traffic, feeling coy

and modestly protests the joy 

accompanying every ploy

that thickens human hide

dismissing all that's died

forgetting those who cried

let's focus on the ride

updates, mundane and otherwise

ON the other side of a ( relatively ) unspectacular surgery, working on being mature and sensible during this week or so of recovery. HAH! In the words of Dr. Phil ( who I cannot believe I am quoting): How's that workin' for ya?!

JUST nearing the end of a wonderful intensive class session in American Sign Language ( ASL). Partner and I are nearing a milestone-finishing up Level 2. Fluency better; appreciation for the language and for DEAF culture..... off the charts.
IN class today ( which we do in a small group in the instructor's home) I brought a large carton of creamy Iced Coffee--mocha flavour. Mm Mm Mm. I'm lactose intolerant, but I threw caution to the winds ( note the mature and sensible reference, above) and drank a good glass full. Even though I'll likely pay big time ( and actually have paid big time already.....no more details needed on that...), I have to say that it's a good feeling for a (recovering) alcoholic like me to regard a milk -based drink as a bit of risky, edgy behaviour.
Talk about a shift in perspective!!

HOPE you all are thriving on the myriad triggers for expressive outpouring in your respective expressive lives.
NAMASTE

A Pilgrim she was, and a witness

Behold a tale of meta-cognitive woe
Told to me by a menopausal minstrel
a pilgrim she was,
and a witness
with a wildness in her eyes
oh, yes

I'm telling you because she told me to....
pass it on, that is...
Who knows where her madness has taken her since
or if it will get her back
Regardless, she left a beast waiting for her
and a boat
so it's only a matter of time

The tale is harmless enough in its mundane particulars
She was on the move, scouting a site of next looking
Following the signs of an other's making
and poor signs they were, too.The typical
forgetting of what's necessary by insiders
 who shouldn't be allowed to give directions at all

So, she wandered and wondered and pondered and blundered
and asked and asked
and asked again.
Finally finding, yet laid low by the utter exhaustion
of banal floundering.
Being lost many times before, she had learned to dwell in the delight of quest
and was gutted by her tears in the wake of this sad instance of just too much

She told me to tell you that it can happen
when you least expect it, no matter your armour
no matter your shameless embrace of all your dark places
there it is
you'll be walking away from a finding
and wondering why you're crying
how you got to this place....
and then
it will pass
sinking into that deep well
where you hold your tears

now I've told you
this tale, told to me by a menopausal minstrel
a pilgrim she was
and a witness
with a wildness in her eyes
oh, yes

An owl will slash the seam

and then

when it seems 

that a look could not be any more

captivating

or a stillness any more

motionless

or a moment any more

sudden

or 

prolonged 

an owl will slash the seam

 of

 all those any mores 

with the piercing silence

of 

glide

Chapter 15

..... Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving
till the right action arises by itself?
......

Tao Te Ching
trans, Stephen Mitchell
excerpt from Ch. 15