Dying/broken/forgiven.... now I begin

Born: 17-06-56....gemini.... monkey
re-born: 3-09-80
born again\found: 14-04-08
other notable dates: 10-03-68; 03-09-87; 23-03-96;
1-05-98; 31-01-02; 5-04-04

Interests: movement, stressed/transgressive embodiment, lived experience (body\space\time\relation)
expression ( word, dance, text, image, story, music, poetics)
learning, yielding......

Hopes for the blog:
offer up the wild intersectedness of lived experience and engage others in creative, expressive, perhaps irreverant, hopefully playful, and respectful encounters....
enact kindness
create moments of pause for disclosure, discovery, stillness

Friday, December 14, 2012

.....You're a curious one

Following the first round of radiation treatment I then returned for two more. Number two was swift with practically no audience at all. One very gentle and efficient nurse and the radiation therapist and the fella who checks our radioactivity. The oncologist drops in briefly. Number three was more like number one, but with a less efficient resident at the helm. He will learn. This is the blessing and curse of experiential education. Students have to learn on someone. And, he was good with feedback. His next venture will be smoother.
I was admonished about my head. HUH!! There are lots of intriguing objects and processes going on in that theatre. I like to take a look, even when I am obstructed by a large blanket covering my knees. So, I lift my head and peer over my knees and around the side for a better view and I do the same over on my right side. I get a "HEY" from the radiation therapist, followed by a " you're a curious one, aren't you?"
Well duh, yes I am.  This capacity has been a mainstay for me through my life. It has saved me from going crazy down the slide of morbid preoccupation and from my deeply inscribed cynicism.
But not here, no way no how!!  so, "you're a curious one, aren't you?" she asks me. "You bet" I say.
"Well be curious without moving your head..... we can't get anything done down here with all that muscle contraction. "
Excuse me, I think. But, my  developing aversion to the popsicle  allows me to keep my perspective. And I keep my head still. Far be it from me to prolong this joyous encounter.
It is two weeks since number three. Mostly I feel like I have been sitting on a pickle for a month and I am sore inside and out. But, as they say, tolerating it quite well.
Onto the next adventure: chemotherapy. More to say as there is more to tell.


  1. I'm such a chicken that I never want to see what's going on with someone working on me, not even a shot or blood sample. Just get it over with as quickly and painlessly as possible. Obviously, I would be a complete wuss at childbirth. Which reminds me of a joke:

    Which is more painful, childbirth or a kick in the nuts?
    A kick in the nuts. Why?
    Because a few months after childbirth women are often heard to say, "Let's have another one" while a man has never been heard to say "kick me again."

  2. Maybe if you ask nice they will give you a white coat and you can go on rounds with them and see it being done to another who has to keep her head still?

  3. Mr.C.-- quite a good point, about the kick. mind you, i have also heard women say " keep that thing away from me forever" after childbirth. nevertheless, lots of babies get born and clearly have siblings. perhaps women are hardwired for pain??
    thanks for the visit.... i am a curious person, and my unfettered curiosity is not always a blessing, but always an adventure.
    WM.-- now there's a nasty little idea that has merit. or, another scenario would be to do some empathy training for all the folks who administer these lovely procedures. just so they can feel the love, you know.
    thanks for the visit. cheers