My father flirts
with death
from as far back as I can remember
this relationship
shaped my world
the worlds of his other children
the worlds of his wife
risk and its terrible
wonderful consequences
a border
who never left our home
inhabits me still
My father fights
with life
from as far back as I can remember
he took the driver's seat
knew the road
never showed panic
no matter how lost he was
My father waits
for spring
maybe summer
if he can lean into this life that death has
offered
recent forays into heroism
leaving him fragile, wondering about who he is
what time is where space is
compassion
a stranger better late than never
maybe
it can be
learned
dwelling in the small gifts of tenderness
after half a month of the medical and physical torment of catastrophic multiple body systems failures, my father returns home and he ...and mother ... and their adult children... are living in the day to day "living with" and the emotional depths and challenges all this brings. It is difficult being five provinces away and wanting to do more.... in a couple of weeks i can get time off work and go east for a while. I am learning... and there is much to learn.
ReplyDeleteMay he face his mortality and not be afraid of it anymore. Go back and be schooled when you get there.
ReplyDeleteMy wife's best friend is going through similar torments. After a liver transplant, and 4 weeks in ICU, up and down, there is a glimmer, just a glimmer that she may make it.
ReplyDeleteEven though she is not a relative, my wife has been riding the roller coaster with her friend's family. It is extremely draining. There is indeed much to learn.
I can hear the echoes of a million stories between the lines of what you have written.
ReplyDeleteYou are fortunate to have lived the full story.
I should add that this is a beautiful poem
ReplyDeleteWM- thanks for the visit and the sentiment. I am looking forward to dwelling in whatever the time together offers.
ReplyDeleteJadedJ-thanks for the resonant comments and the empathy. appreciated.
Pisces-you are right, i am fortunate to have lived it and to be able to continue to be a part of it. and thanks for the kind comment on the poem.
stunning poem - thank you for this. talent well placed. M.
ReplyDeletemichael-- thanks for the visit and this gracious comment.
ReplyDeletebtw, i like what i see at your blog .... i will be back!!
My dear friend, I almost cried, you know that beautiful poem is the story of my life, but instead of an open ending it had a bad one.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy things while you got them, you never know.
mariana--thanks so much for your visit and your kind words.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, you.Heartwretchingly beautiful.
ReplyDelete