Dying/broken/forgiven.... now I begin

Born: 17-06-56....gemini.... monkey
re-born: 3-09-80
born again\found: 14-04-08
other notable dates: 10-03-68; 03-09-87; 23-03-96;
1-05-98; 31-01-02; 5-04-04

Interests: movement, stressed/transgressive embodiment, lived experience (body\space\time\relation)
expression ( word, dance, text, image, story, music, poetics)
learning, yielding......

Hopes for the blog:
offer up the wild intersectedness of lived experience and engage others in creative, expressive, perhaps irreverant, hopefully playful, and respectful encounters....
enact kindness
create moments of pause for disclosure, discovery, stillness

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Dry Date

In the fall of 1987 I brought temporary closure to a writing project that had brought me back to life... literally, it re-animated me.  Writing that story allowed me to honour two people whose stories deserved thoughtful attention through a powerful process of reflection, poetics and narration, and also allowed me to realize that I could feel all there was to feel and not implode with sorrow and longing. Up to that point in my life as an adult, I had managed  the emotional dimensions of my life with alcohol and other substances, but after living the process of bringing that story to disclosure, I could no longer find refuge in feeling nothing at all. I stopped using alcohol and other substances shortly after.
But, I did nothing else, really, in the service of living mindfully except stop. I may have been "dry", but I sure as hell was not sober.  It took me almost three years before  I took ownership of my alcoholism and addiction, with neither pride nor shame. February 1, 1990: the date I got honest with myself. My dry date.
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6 comments:

  1. the walking manFebruary 2, 2011 at 5:09 AM

    Finally a recovered as opposed to a recovering (ever ongoing) alcoholic drug user. I never knew what date I walked away, don't care to know and don't mind that I did. Glad you wrote that story H, every tale needs telling even the short one here.

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  2. The CrowFebruary 2, 2011 at 6:18 AM

    Congratulations, H, for you perserverance and success. You won a battle that many cannot, for whatever reasons they believe.

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  3. HarlequinFebruary 4, 2011 at 12:08 AM

    WM and Crow-- well, i 'm still doing this one day at a time, but my self honesty has been the gift that keeps giving. thanks for the kind comments.

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  4. GarthFebruary 5, 2011 at 3:10 PM

    I'll drink to that.
    Sorry, bad joke.
    Congratulations my friend.

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  5. HarlequinFebruary 5, 2011 at 11:43 PM

    Pisces-- good one! i wish i could join you, but, alas, i have no idea how that might end. sigh. more's the pity.... the nature of alcoholism. i love drinking jokes, however, so please don't hold back.
    thanks for the congrats; appreciated.

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  6. SarahAFebruary 9, 2011 at 6:29 AM

    It takes a strong person to over come any addiction. Well done, you; for being a strong one.

    ReplyDelete

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