Dying/broken/forgiven.... now I begin

Born: 17-06-56....gemini.... monkey
re-born: 3-09-80
born again\found: 14-04-08
other notable dates: 10-03-68; 03-09-87; 23-03-96;
1-05-98; 31-01-02; 5-04-04

Interests: movement, stressed/transgressive embodiment, lived experience (body\space\time\relation)
expression ( word, dance, text, image, story, music, poetics)
learning, yielding......

Hopes for the blog:
offer up the wild intersectedness of lived experience and engage others in creative, expressive, perhaps irreverant, hopefully playful, and respectful encounters....
enact kindness
create moments of pause for disclosure, discovery, stillness

Saturday, March 14, 2009


is it an age or a stage
this obsession with holding on letting go
maybe there's more at stake
than putting a weigh across my back
and going through the motions of crouching and standing
( shitting in the woods)
with impeccable form
beautifully balanced feet await
buttocks leading the action
aligned, cantilevered
core engaged and unyielding
supporting a spine in/delicate
extension riding the relentless
rhythms of inhale
into preparedness
exhale into exertion
a bellows insistent on its own necessity
after all
what is more basic than breath
bone or gesture...
choice perhaps (?)
an entity vastly different from preference
and it frightens me
how much I have riding on that
heavy as the weight I go through the motions of carrying
a stubborn ass needs a stubborn driver
possibly the perverse appeal of squat
early on
I remember the anxiety of preference
it plagues me sometimes
how it plagues me still
unnerves me
although even that last vestige has given way...
softness beckons
... unexpectedly & delightfully
your kindness
touches everything
changes everything
begotten, beloved
I shiver with a deep gladness

if a work is mine to do
it will make me glad over the long haul
despite the difficult days
if a work does not gladden me in these ways
I need to consider laying it down


  1. Holy cow! I broke out in a sweat just reading this. (Okay, I'm thinking this is in reference to toning exercises, so if I'm wrong, just leave me with my illusion. I would be too embarrassed to contemplate anything else.)

    I am going to take the last paragraph, if I may, and print it as a motto to follow. Makes great sense to me, as I am frequently taking on things I do not really want to do, or find no value for me in the doing, and could use this wonderful common sense approach in the selection process.

  2. Crow-- hey... nice to see you here... I have been visiting your blog as well but am just now sort of kind of adjusted to being back in Canada
    (from Norway) and am not as frequent a responder as I'd like .... I know,,,, BWO, but still...
    so, yeah, it is a description of an exercise, but it does resemble that other activity I mention as well...
    glad you liked the last bit... it is becoming a mantra for me...

  3. shocking... and true!

    even before clicking on the links, i felt their presence here...

    any act of 'getting rid of' is healthy... is sacred...

    and the the things we get rid of are not useless in their nature... they are useless just for us... and when we get rid of them, they nourish some other being...


  4. HB--I also like the image and felt sense of laying something down... not dropping it or casting it away...there is a carefulness in that which feels honorable and appealing to me...
    thanks for the comments and the sentiments

  5. this is a lovely (and honest) description. I did a whole bunch of squats today, so the lived-experience is fresh for me.....really really good description of it...

    I also liked the last bit...the gentleness of laying something down, perhaps setting it aside...but always gently and with tact.


  6. Derliwall... thanks for this comment... what better way to spend St. Patrick's day than doing a whole bunch of squats... I'll leave you to consider that...
    and yes, laying it down is how I will remain humane in the midst of a whole lot of insensitivity

  7. Ha ha ha ha ha! I really believed it was something else before I read your replies. Good job I did, otherwise I might of put my foot in it!Well written, you.

  8. SarahA-- thanks for the comment... I glad you liked this...