Dying/broken/forgiven.... now I begin

Born: 17-06-56....gemini.... monkey
re-born: 3-09-80
born again\found: 14-04-08
other notable dates: 10-03-68; 03-09-87; 23-03-96;
1-05-98; 31-01-02; 5-04-04

Interests: movement, stressed/transgressive embodiment, lived experience (body\space\time\relation)
expression ( word, dance, text, image, story, music, poetics)
learning, yielding......

Hopes for the blog:
offer up the wild intersectedness of lived experience and engage others in creative, expressive, perhaps irreverant, hopefully playful, and respectful encounters....
enact kindness
create moments of pause for disclosure, discovery, stillness

Friday, October 16, 2015

Quiet Desperation


Dexterity remains under-rated
taken for granted
buttoning my shirt is no big deal
do it with my eyes
closed
Once upon a time
maybe so
but, Now...No.

key in the lock
    purse
car
    door
    floor, floor, floor
watch them soar
hear me roar
when I can't
face the dropsies
any more

Some days, the post-chemo world is
absurd
ridiculous in its good-natured
sense of humour
 adapting
always
adapting
moments
soaked with hope

Some days, the post-chemo world is
absurd
ridiculous in its taunting
I am this close to a laugh when I notice
I am
sobbing
containing
always
containing
darkness
soaked with tears

Yielding remains under-rated
Once upon a time, maybe so
But, Now...No.

Posted by at

3 comments:

  1. HarlequinOctober 16, 2015 at 12:43 AM

    Some weeks are better than others. Last week was an other... lots of frustration and fatigue. Yielding is the most important and most difficult thing I do. Chemotherapy and radiation therapy are the gifts that keep on giving.... grrrr.

    ReplyDelete
  2. the walking manOctober 20, 2015 at 7:25 AM

    H...baby girl I hear ya! I haven't had chemo or radiation but my left side is weakening exponentially, hand shakes, I drop shit and can't keep a grip. Sooner or later I'll turn myself over to the medical talons again, but not just yet. I may want a diagnosis but not the pressure of a treatment protocol.

    What is good is that you still can care about the frustration and fatigue. means you have neither given up or given in and to be honest your writing here also shows the sense of humor you are retaining.

    Get well my friend and then having dine so Be Well.

    ReplyDelete
  3. HarlequinOctober 24, 2015 at 12:52 AM

    WM-- thanks for the visit and the wise words. Glad to see that my humour is alive and well and appreciated ( by only the most discerning, of course!!). Nice stuff happening at your blog, btw... but no surprises there.
    Be well, back atcha.

    ReplyDelete

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