Is that a Phallag, or are you just happy to see me?

Neighbour finds partner and me troublesome.  Our houses' side by side conjoined existence causes no end of angst and irritation. Year round she places her snowman figurine's caption " GO AWAY" (presumably meant for the snow? ) in the front facing position so that we see it with every step we take to our front door. Actually, I am pretty sure it is partner who she hates more... I am simply collateral damage.
Our relationship was not always this strained. When we moved in 15 years ago, she was simply unfriendly and rude. Now, however,  thanks to several transformative moments, she has undergone a renewed commitment to bullying and retribution strategies.
Early disputes involved parking and garbage boundaries... one inch over the property dividing line in her direction calls forth screaming and verbal abuse. I have to say, that, as a Newfoundlander, her verbal abuse does not really come up to the standard I am used to, but she is a mainlander, so I cut her some slack. Then we moved on to a need to repair our back yard fence and attempt to connect it to a post that already exists on her property. We asked if we could connect. She refused. Sigh. I commissioned a survey of the property line so that we would know where we could put up our own post. Expensive, of course, this survey stuff. But the fellas did a splendid job and delivered their report to both of us, how courteous of them. Turns out the post is on OUR property. Tsk Tsk. I was all for simply connecting and moving on. Partner decided that it was important to remove the ornament on the top of the post that was now "ours" since he never liked that ornament anyway. Good mature decision making all around, here. Neighbour began directing her two German Shepherds to poop next to our back yard fence. More mature decision making. Then, we needed to have a large and dying tree in our back yard cut down, so we had to ask neighbour to remove her clothes line from the tree.
Then things got a little more .... symbolic.
Once the tree disappeared, neighbour's partner found a ten foot high flag pole and inserted it in their back yard near the fence so that their drying clothes would blow over the fence... more mature decision making.
so, years pass and so do the opportunities for increasingly unpleasant interactions. Neighbour buys a snow blower and clears  in front of everyone's house except ours. Silly, really, since the internal road way that runs in front of the dozen or so connected row houses in our town house set- up has to be used by all of us to get out onto the main road... it looks like a strange sort of crew cut, but on a road.
We then began experiencing some nasty vandalism... piles of dead cigarette butts on our steps, scratches on our car, stones removed and rearranged on the landscaped slope in front of our house. Partner decides we need a security light with a motion sensor. Other neighbours are delighted... everyone can see better and there are fewer late night visits from creative individuals looking for ways to express themselves. Next door neighbour is most unhappy... the lights are too bright. We move the lights so they angle away from neighbour's  stairs' ascent angle.
Not enough effort on our part, however. Neighbour's partner then inserts a flagpole into the front of their house at a 45 degree angle, just above and very near our mail box (this feat of carpentry performed shirtless in the cool breeziness of early April in Ontario), and then procures the largest Canadian flag I have ever seen. It drapes beautifully.  And when the wind blows and the flag unfurls, usually in front of of our front door, the security light flares in all its glory. Such an impressive display of reciprocal patriotism. Ahem.
Today, another team of fellas arrived and installed an awning over our  front door. Partner hopes that this will keep the flag out of our faces and keep the light from being tripped for no security reason.
I  (somewhat anxiously) await the next vertical insertion .... I am sure it will be as tasteful and subtle as its predecessors.
Stay tuned!!