Tuesday, March 25, 2014
My New Normal
Sleep is a good thing
No bullshit tolerance, whatsoever
An even greater appreciation for the absurd
nauseous
Either remembering that I forgot something OR forgetting that I remembered something
nauseous
Realizing that over-commitment will very soon, of necessity, become a thing of the past
nauseous
".... that weird lack of sensation feeling in your fingers and toes? yeah, that might be your new normal..."
" .... those strange short term memory lapses, when you know that you know how to do something, but you still don't know how to do it NOW? yeah, that might be your new normal...."
nauseous
Caution going upstairs
Caution going downstairs
nauseous
Writing everything down.... everything!
The phrase " my oncology team"
Regular 3 month check-ins with .... my oncology team
nauseous
The phrase " my oncologist says...."
nauseous
Thinner
Wondering if I am strong enough to lift that
Cancelling meetings
Sending regrets
nauseous
Wanting (desperately!!) to do things that give me joy (like blogging) and feeling duty bound to do the obligations to which I have (stupidly) (over)-committed and which I am beginning to hate more and more
nauseous
Knowing that I am finished with doing things that I hate. FINISHED. WITH. IT.
Pissed off that it took cancer/radiation/chemotherapy and their aftermath/s to give me an "aha" moment about stopping spending time on things that I hate.
nauseous
Living with/in the aftermath/s
Diving deep....
..... and surfacing.
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Here I am again, finding energy and time and (finally) beginning to see the end of the long list of things I hate. Whew!!
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to spending more time doing things that give me joy....
.... feeling better, working too much too soon, learning my lessons on that one,
happy to be blogging tonight and excited to go and read what's been happening on all the blogs I love to visit.
As always, glad to have you back Harlequin. Here's a link to a blog by a friend of mine who has been battling Parkinson's. He's a musician who, much like you, is rediscovering life anew. I think you might enjoy it. http://andywardking.com/
ReplyDeleteMr. C. wow, thanks for this great link. lovely. and thanks for the visit and the kind comment. cheers!
ReplyDeleteTakes time to learn that life is a set of seconds, each worth a penny, and no one has the ability to force us to spend those pennies as we will. Learning to say NO is a good thing.
ReplyDeleteGood to read your words, Harlequin. As for the "aha" -- at least you got it. Sadly, many don't.
ReplyDeleteHealing thoughts & best wishes to you!!!!
WM- thanks for the visit and the wise words. .... and it is a good thing. Amen.
ReplyDeleteIntelliwench... Long time coming, this aha. thanks for the good wishes. :)
Great to have you back in the ever decreasing fold.
ReplyDeleteWonderful insights recorded here, many of which strike universal chords - keep em coming :)
Garth-thanks for the visit. Also, delighted to read your blog as well. Great stuff over there.
ReplyDeletenow that I am getting through the fog, I plan on keeping it coming. I feel frustrated in fallow times, but sometimes they yield intriguing insight. At least this one has. :)